Friday December 18, 2020

 has it really been this long since i've updated???? ahhh

i've been so busy baby sitting i have barely noticed the time passing.

I am so exhausted lately! I think my iron is low again but i dont wanna make an appointment until the new year. my nails are breaking and peeling and i'm bruising and i just have no energy no matter what i do.

I got a new planner for the new year and it's smaller and I love it.

I am now collecting recipes and making a book of them to have for my own. I have two cookbooks printed in the 1980s and my moms collection and i'm getting some from pinterest and other places. It's my newest little project and it's exciting.

I had a really big emotional break down yesterday.... actually two of them. in one day. I'm trying really hard to not let the... my grandparents are dead thing get to me right now. but it's christmas and its the first one without pawpaw and my mawmaw.

I'm also having random bursts of "nana is dead" again even though its been two years.

my husband is doing his absolute best to make sure i have a good christmas and i feel blessed to have him in my life and i'm trying really hard to do the best i can. it's hard. it's really hard right now. but it will get easier after january... just get into the new year. surely it can't be worse than this one. because if it is... i don't even know what to do, honestly.