happy holidays!

 it's taken me quite a bit of time to get around to making a blog post. 

this has been the biggest, most busy holiday season i have ever experienced.

i have so many christmas gatherings. soooo many.

well, i'm lumping thanksgiving in there because its all so close together.

we went to alabama to see my family and stayed with my parents. our family gathering was small because people were sick and also my cousin had just had a baby and couldn't be there. not seeing my cousin really put a downer on things but i got to see my other cousins and trade pokemon with one of my best friends and super smash brothers with my cousin's little boy. we took beau and everyone loved him so much.

we have a little nighttime christmas present swap with my parents. and i am so happy. they got me a sewing machine so i can make stuff now. i haven't opened it because i haven't had a day of down time. not even today.

the sunday we were in alabama i got to see the little girl i had baby sat years ago and her parents and her younger sister who was an infant last time i saw her.

on the way back i managed to hurt my arm somehow and i dont know how-- which is why today i didn't get to rest i went to the doctor because it never stops hurting.

on the 23 we went to fatherinlaws house for their family christmas gathering and i was in a dark place and didn't really enjoy it. we left beau at home so we could actually enjoy the people that were there and that was nice.

on christmas day stan and i opened our stockings and gave beau his gifts. then we went and had lunch with his mother and grandmother.

after that we went to see his cousin and his cousin's partner which was nice because we hadn't seen them in months.

my husband went to the movies with a friend and they slept over at the apartment and we had some chill time. but my arm and sensory overload gave me a hard time and it ended up not being as much fun for me as i had hoped.

and that leaves us with today. i went to the urgent care for my arm, we got chinese and watched a movie. i took the pills they gave me for my arm pain and dozed off the whole afternoon.

i'm going to post a bunch of photos. some of them might be duplicates.

here are some other photos with descriptions:::::

the top two shelves of my curio cabinet with my new cat figurines,

here is the top of the cabinet and the little heart shelf, again rearranged with my new cats

my travelers notebook un boxing!!!!

this is the gift pile we took to my father in laws.

this is beau on christmas morning with one of his new toys.

my junky travelers note book. it looks different now i've re arranged it again

my stocking

one of the shirts my husband got me!!!

the sewing machine my mom and dad got me!!!

almost home from Alabama!

We are mere minutes from being home.

I will update about my Alabama Christmas trip in full later. Tennessee on the way back was a nightmare. Traffic and road construction and windy. 

Right now I Just want to post a picture or two.

That's all for now. I need to save the rest for the real update.

this December

This December I am going to focus on myself and my health. As much as I can. 

I have Beau to take care of and the house work. And my husband of course.

I have been decorator Christmas but I haven't done the tree or the lights outside yet. I'm waiting for December first.

My PTSD has been bothering me a lot here lately and it's affecting my relationship with my husband. I don't know what to do about it. My therapist wanted me to do a trauma narrative and I just don't even see how that would help at all. Reliving it in detail. Saying it all out loud. I just don't see how that will make my hyper viligance any less acute.

Beau is keeping my grounded in reality because I need to keep an eye on him all the time.

Lilly doesn't spend much time with me anymore and it breaks my heart. She is very mean to Beau and that is making me sad too.

My health is not much better. If I have any energy at all it's because I'm eating vitamin c drops like candy. That helps the iron be absorbed. I am still just playing a waiting game on my health. 

Next year I plan to do art festivals and I need to make stuff to sell. The sooner the better. I need a sewing machine badly. I hope I have the skills I think I do. I remember using one and being ok with it. So I hope I can do what I plan to do. My Pinterest is full of ideas.

Here are some pics

I haven't been blogging very much lately

I have previously waited and gotten my laptop out to make blog post but it think this will be easier don't on a cell phone.

We took Beau to Stan's dad's for Thanksgiving and he did ok. It was his first gathering and he got so excited that he couldn't just..... He wanted to meet all the people. And the people where busy doing thanksgiving. He ended up in his kennel or in a room barred of with a baby gate  bless his heart. He did a good job. He was a good boy.

He didn't do anything wrong. He was just a good boy. Such a good boy.

Tomorrow we are taking him to Stan's, moms she want to eat out and we will be leaving Beau at her apartment  alone with her dog Little Bear so they can meet and hopefully things will go well. He wore his cute new jacket and a bandana.

He looks wery handsome.

 

Here is me and Beau

We had a good time at Thanksgiving with Stan's dad and Sandy.  I got to meet people I that I had never met before  I had a lot in common with Sandy's sister she and I might talk more in the future. I don't know though it's a sensitive topic and it might be best to just let that go.

Since we are seeing Stan's mom tomorrow I  baked brownies for her. She loves my Brownies.  so I have made some for her.

 And she wants to have Chinese for lunch on that day. We will be picking his grandma on the way.to see his mother 

Just another picture. Little blurry lol

I'm still alive!

 I am trudging along.

Beau is a good dog and I am so happy we were lucky enough to find him and make him our little one.

Lilly is not taking to it very well. I think she is more grumpy now than she was when we first got him. I'm not really sure what to do. I think she needs more space where he can't get to her but that would involve her going into the spare bedroom which... will be occupied soon I think so that isn't really an option.

We were going to take Beau to a fall festival today but we gave him a bath and flea treatment and I didn't even think about the fact that the flea treatment would be on his furr so... the kiddos at the festival would get the chemicals on them and.... well that was just not a good idea obviously.

I am 80% done with Marc Whitt's book "When In Doubt, Make Applesauce!" and it's supposed to be for PR professionals but it's really just a good book fully of good character building ideas and morals. Which, I would expect no less from Marc. I am enjoying reading it far more than I expected. I don't think he planned on me reading it and enjoying it either. He should write motivational books, he has a knack for it.

On tuesday I finally see the Hematologist. I am anxious to get my iron levels back up and see if I can feel like a real person again. I have my medicine list and I'm taking my medicine with me.

Speaking of medicine, my doctor hasn't called in my trazadone prescription despite me submitting my refill request so I don't even have my trazadone which is for my sleep and depression. I am really pissed off but I can't really do anything about it. I sent a message to them about it but it's the weekend and my doctor doesn't work on Monday so it will be atleast tuesday before anything even gets done.

Also the pharmacy cannot get my ativan because there is a medicine shortage and so i have very little ativan. I could call other pharmacies but it's complicated. I might end up doing it but I'd rather not. It's been over half a month. Well they ran out almost a month ago after they filled half a month for me but that was the last of what they had.

I should be asleep right now but hahaha fat chance.

It's 4:30 am now so i don't even think I will sleep at all.

Here are some photos

I haven't updated in forever!

 and i've been very busy actually for once. We adopted a shih-tzu yorkie mix (shorkie?)

and he is... the best thing that has happened to us in a long time.

He is so well tempered he is adorable. And he is learning to leave Lilly alone.

we have been using a squirt water gun to get him to stop chasing after her and its working great.

i have a band concert this sunday and i am playing much better than i was. i feel more confident but there is this part in one piece that is very exposed and we are playing English Horn cues (there aren't any english horn players obviously) and it's very.. you have to count for ages and jump in and the rest and jump back in again and its very.. hard for me. i'm not getting the timing right. and we dont rehearse enough to sit down and hash it out so it's just gonna be up in the air and hope for the best. my friend who plays clarinet with me, that i've been meeting on mondays to practice. she had sinus surgery and couldn't come to the last rehearsal and she hopes to get cleared for the concert but my expectations are not very high on that.

I wont be able to play in the december concert because i will be in alabama when they have the concert so... this is the last one of the year for me. and i will see them in january.

my plan is to practice out of the Klose book and get really good and surprise everyone next year, i know I can play better than I am and if i keep practicing i will get there.

enough of this lets see some pictures of the little dog we adopted, his name is Beau (french for boy)

it is basically the name he had been going by so that makes it easier for him.

we got him from an elderly couple that couldn't look after him properly. they were very nice and gave us all his things. he is a good boy and doesn't do anything horrible. doesn't chew on anything.  we have been working on the house training potty situation and its getting better.

In december i am going back home to see my family the weekend before christmas and we are staying with my parents and they are excited to meet Beau

now i will photo dump pictures of the little man.

these pictures are after we took him to the groomer. his hair was very long before that. it was adorable but he had matted hair so we got him cut shorter. 

i know there is probably a lot more i should update about but i just don't really want to take attention away from the dog too much... he has been a blessing on keeping me grounded in reality.

It's done

 we went back to Alabama and got the rest of our stuff. we officially live in Kentucky now. haha

I feel so good about having all my weird stuff I collected. I'm going through it all and tossing stuff and donating and selling what I don't need. a lot of stuff had been in storage for years so... i wasn't missing it too much obviously.

we have ended up with duplicates of stuff because we moved and didn't bring it and had to buy so that's happening

i am so very grateful to my father in law for helping us do this huge feat. he went above and beyond for us and it means the world to me and my husband.

this sunday i FINALLY get to go back to band rehearsal. it's been SO VERY LONG. i feel an emptiness where music should be and i've been filling that emptiness with shopping. i've bought so much halloween decorations. and honestly i plan to buy more to make our patio really decorated.

also I want to do an Ofrenda this year for my grand parents and i need to print off a photo of mawmaw. mom sent me  picture of the picture and its not very good but it will have to do. I already have picture of nana and pawpaw together. I will need to buy food for them and stuff they like because that's what you do for an ofrenda. I am excited to honor my grandparents i love them so much. I keep thinking about Mawmaw and all her arts and crafts and I wish I could do half the stuff she did. I just tried embroidery and made a mess out of it. I am gonna have to buy a beginners thing that tells you what to do properly. this had literally no instructions

i decorated a fake tree for halloween but i haven't put it out side and i wont until october

i am going to see if google photos synced  so i can post a picture of my stupid little tree lol

oh yay it all saved online. so this is what i have decorated so far. i am going to tweak the stuff that isnt symmetrical enough for me because its bothering me lol

i need more stuff for the top of the bookcase and outside. but that's all. and theres plenty of time to get it. there's no rush. i am just so excited about being able to decorate. i always wanted to but we lived in the woods back home growing up and nobody would even see it we lived so far back from the road.

my wedding anniversary is upon us and we are going out to eat but not on that day because my husbands work has him working a fund drive and i dont wanna make him take me out to eat after working. just seems means. i dont care when we go.... so i told him to wait until a better time. maybe next weekend