this December

This December I am going to focus on myself and my health. As much as I can. 

I have Beau to take care of and the house work. And my husband of course.

I have been decorator Christmas but I haven't done the tree or the lights outside yet. I'm waiting for December first.

My PTSD has been bothering me a lot here lately and it's affecting my relationship with my husband. I don't know what to do about it. My therapist wanted me to do a trauma narrative and I just don't even see how that would help at all. Reliving it in detail. Saying it all out loud. I just don't see how that will make my hyper viligance any less acute.

Beau is keeping my grounded in reality because I need to keep an eye on him all the time.

Lilly doesn't spend much time with me anymore and it breaks my heart. She is very mean to Beau and that is making me sad too.

My health is not much better. If I have any energy at all it's because I'm eating vitamin c drops like candy. That helps the iron be absorbed. I am still just playing a waiting game on my health. 

Next year I plan to do art festivals and I need to make stuff to sell. The sooner the better. I need a sewing machine badly. I hope I have the skills I think I do. I remember using one and being ok with it. So I hope I can do what I plan to do. My Pinterest is full of ideas.

Here are some pics

I haven't been blogging very much lately

I have previously waited and gotten my laptop out to make blog post but it think this will be easier don't on a cell phone.

We took Beau to Stan's dad's for Thanksgiving and he did ok. It was his first gathering and he got so excited that he couldn't just..... He wanted to meet all the people. And the people where busy doing thanksgiving. He ended up in his kennel or in a room barred of with a baby gate  bless his heart. He did a good job. He was a good boy.

He didn't do anything wrong. He was just a good boy. Such a good boy.

Tomorrow we are taking him to Stan's, moms she want to eat out and we will be leaving Beau at her apartment  alone with her dog Little Bear so they can meet and hopefully things will go well. He wore his cute new jacket and a bandana.

He looks wery handsome.

 

Here is me and Beau

We had a good time at Thanksgiving with Stan's dad and Sandy.  I got to meet people I that I had never met before  I had a lot in common with Sandy's sister she and I might talk more in the future. I don't know though it's a sensitive topic and it might be best to just let that go.

Since we are seeing Stan's mom tomorrow I  baked brownies for her. She loves my Brownies.  so I have made some for her.

 And she wants to have Chinese for lunch on that day. We will be picking his grandma on the way.to see his mother 

Just another picture. Little blurry lol