this December

This December I am going to focus on myself and my health. As much as I can. 

I have Beau to take care of and the house work. And my husband of course.

I have been decorator Christmas but I haven't done the tree or the lights outside yet. I'm waiting for December first.

My PTSD has been bothering me a lot here lately and it's affecting my relationship with my husband. I don't know what to do about it. My therapist wanted me to do a trauma narrative and I just don't even see how that would help at all. Reliving it in detail. Saying it all out loud. I just don't see how that will make my hyper viligance any less acute.

Beau is keeping my grounded in reality because I need to keep an eye on him all the time.

Lilly doesn't spend much time with me anymore and it breaks my heart. She is very mean to Beau and that is making me sad too.

My health is not much better. If I have any energy at all it's because I'm eating vitamin c drops like candy. That helps the iron be absorbed. I am still just playing a waiting game on my health. 

Next year I plan to do art festivals and I need to make stuff to sell. The sooner the better. I need a sewing machine badly. I hope I have the skills I think I do. I remember using one and being ok with it. So I hope I can do what I plan to do. My Pinterest is full of ideas.

Here are some pics